I was born into a good Christian home and I was a good kid.
I really didn’t start messing up until I was about 14 or 15. I wasn’t such a bad kid even then but a couple of my buddies and I would chip in for a case of beer about once a week and drink ourselves sick and stupid.
That was fun for a while but most of us just got tired of it. One of my friends kept drinking and became an alcoholic but the rest of us were just social drinkers.
I didn’t get exposed to illegal drugs until I was 19 and in college when I was turned on to marijuana. I liked it. I smoked it all day everyday. They say it’s not addictive but I don’t know what I could have done differently if it was!
Cassie and I were married in our Junior year in College.
In spite of the pot smoking I did well in school and graduated with a degree in Computer Science. I got a good job and it launched a very lucrative career.
We started having children and things change when you have children.
We had drifted away from church while we were in college but we started going again. I hadn’t decided if I believed in God or not but, just in case, I got involved with the Youth Group, the Choir and the Worship Committee.
The preaching in church was starting to get to me and it was messing up my using.
It was becoming increasingly difficult to be a closet hippie and a productive, acceptable member of society. I had been trying to live a double life, but the two Baydons could no longer co-exist and it was time for me to change my ways.
By that time I was 33. I had decided that I do believe in God, so, in 1984, after 14 years of using drugs, with God’s help, I quit.
I still played guitar and I started getting into praise and worship so I prayed that God would equip me and empower me for ministry through music.
I started receiving invitations to be a music leader for Conferences, Church Family weekends and Worship events. I spent two incredible summers in Kiev, in Ukraine, leading the music for men’s conferences.
God showed me a lot of what was going on in His Kingdom here on earth and life was good.
For about 20 years Cassie and the kids and I had a lot of wonderful times together until the old nature resurfaced and I had the relapse that I am recovering from now.
My career was an area of my life that I failed to completely surrender to God consequently I ended up burnt out and broken down.
I turned away from God. I began having thoughts of suicide. I started using drugs again to try to feel better … this time it was crack cocaine. I knew it was addictive and I saw what people did to get one more but I knew I wouldn’t get hooked and I would never do things like that. Wrong!!
I did get hooked and I ended up doing a lot of things I said I’d never do. I’d look at my watch and say “Well I’m already a couple of hours late, might as well stay out 3 or 4 more days!!!
I disconnected from my family and spent all their money. My addiction was out of control.
I had messed up so badly that my Wife told me that even if I went to a treatment center to get some help and stopped using drugs she wasn’t sure if she could ever take me back. We had been married for 30 years!
God helped us find a 12-step treatment center that didn’t cost us any money. God also provided a wonderful church nearby and that was where I started participating in the Celebrate Recovery program.
God used Celebrate Recovery, AA and NA to help me work through the problems with my family and the problems with me.
One of the first things I found out from sharing with the guys in my small group is that what I was going through is not unique to my particular addictions. We may not be wrestling with the same addictions but we are all in the same kind of wrestling match. Same struggles, different opponent.
Exactly how we got here doesn’t really matter … what matters is that we are here, … and that we keep coming back. I have a song about that called: We’re All In The Same Place Now.
About a year and half ago I shared my story for the first time at CR. I shared a lot about how addiction had affected my life and the lives of those around me. Now I am grateful and excited to be sharing with you how recovery has affected my life.
God has been helping me get work.
My church hired me as a handyman to do maintenance work on our buildings. One day when I was working on the bell tower the Lady who lives across the street asked if I could do some work on her house. Then the Lady next door to her asked me if I could do some work at her house … she recommended me to the folks across the street and I did some work for them … they’ve been passing me back and forth almost 2 years! And they are just the nicest folks you could ever hope to meet. I have enough work to keep me busy for months.
While I've been working to restore old buildings God and some of his people have been working to restore me.
God restored my smile!
I had bad teeth to begin with but smoking crack made them fall apart!
With God’s help I was accepted as a patient at the NC School of Dentistry in Chapel Hill.
I had all my teeth pulled so I could get dentures. I worked hard and we all made sacrifices to be able to pay for them.
God’s been helping me through music.
I took my guitar with me to the rehab and I started writing recovery songs
to entertain my fellow loonies and to keep from going completely crazy.
I left the rehab after 4 months and came back home to Concord. Cassie had fallen and broken her knee and even though I knew she wasn’t thrilled about me coming home I knew that with one leg in a cast she wouldn’t be able to kick me out.
I started going to NA meetings. At the first one I attended I met a young man named Jamie, he was about 23 years old at the time. He made me feel very welcome and helped me learn about the NA program.
About 6 months later he stopped coming and I heard that he had gone back out and was using again. At an NA meeting a few weeks later I found out that he had just died of an overdose.
His death hit me very hard and had a profound effect on my recovery … if the drug could kill a healthy 24 year old just like that what chance would I have!I wrote "The Empty Chair" in memory of Jamie.
I picked up a one year chip at that meeting last December. I found out where his mother lived and mailed it to her with a note and a CD copy of that song and I told her that, through the internet, Jamie’s song was starting to touch lives all over the world and that I hoped she could find some comfort in knowing that.
I met her about a month later. It was speaker night and she was the speaker. She told her story and talked a lot about Jamie. She ended her talk by telling everybody about how she had received a package with a one year chip and a copy of a song that was written about Jamie … she said it was the best Christmas present she could possibly have received and that no one could ever know just how much that had meant to her. God knew exactly what it would mean to her when He laid it on my heart to send it to her.
My online friend and music collaborator, Pinkcloudtracy, recorded a beautiful rendition of that song and it continues to touch hearts and lives.
God has been helping restore relationships.
You will hear it said over and over again that the steps are the meat of the program. Working through the steps with my sponsor and accountability partners has given me a different and better perspective
and has helped me work through issues with my family and rebuild relationships.
My relationship with my wife, Cassie, is better than it has been in years and continues to improve. We’ve been married almost 34 years, we’ve been together for 38 years. We’ve been through a lot during that time. Without her support I wouldn’t be here now. When I was weak God used the strength of her love to keep me alive. I wote the song "She stood by me" for Cassie.
My children are back in my life and including me in theirs. I have all of their support in my recovery and they have started dealing with their own hurts, hang-ups and habits; so we are all in recovery together.
One of the most damaged relationships was the one with my youngest daughter. This is what she wrote in the birthday card she gave me this year;
[i]“Happy Birthday Daddy! This past year has brought about such wonderful transformations in your life. I’m so proud of everything you have accomplished. I hope the next year is even better. Love always, Gracieâ€
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